And finally set up an Instagram account (that is yet to be used).
On my podcast, I briefly talked about this event called LoopSessions Toronto. It is innovative community where you get a great opportunity to practice the art of music(?) (ie hip hop, electronic types of music).
Here’s the thing, I actually signed up the night before the session happened (@11:30PM) and I didn’t think that I was included because there were limited spots so I decided before anything else that I would just go as a guest to see how it all works. Regardless, I decided to get my anxious booty to downtown Toronto, took a street car to the Hashtag Gallery (#amazing). I got to the area early and actually walked past the place because I was scared.
Why was I, a grown woman scared?
Well, it’s quite simple. I was doubting myself a bit and lost the confidence to just go in head first (aka being a little B****).
Backstory/Real Talk: So the night before, created an Instagram account because it asked for social media information and although I was hoping I could skate through without Instagram, turns out it’s actually a great tool for connecting with people (go figure right?) I was looking at all the past participants and listening to their music and I was in awe at how accomplished they were. They were confident and doing their thing. I actually appreciated it and wanted to get to their levels of confidence to be fully committed to my craft (enough to put my face out there at the very least). At my most insecure moment, I felt like I shouldn’t be there until I attain a certain level of something however the better part of me went on autopilot and wanted to be in the atmosphere of music lovers first and foremost.
I walked to Trinity Bellwoods and had to collect myself before heading back there. At this point, I was in 75% panic mode. I was getting upset at myself for not feeling confident. I was trying to stop that feeling but it persisted for a bit. I was in my head about making good first impressions. I was a mess internally but I went in.
So here’s the thing…
Pretty much all of the artists were chill. They were kind and open. They were in their zones (producing) and honestly the atmosphere was really friendly and live. Without going Dr.Phil on this blog, I’ve overcome a good portion of my anxieties that I thought were cemented from childhood.
I’m basically going to attend and participate in the next one.
At the end of the day, I have to say that doing things like this become better over time.
Note: This was originally written in March 2019 but was published in May 2019. I also posted a podcast episode about my personal experience as a participant.
